About a month ago. I had gotten in from going to the Drag Show Race. There was a friend request waiting for me from Gareth in Peterborough and a message to say how sorry he was to read on my page about Colin’s death. His own husband had died of a heart attack just days after Colin at 55 years old. We spent days literally on the phone for hours and I mean every day afterwards. It was amazing as I think for both of us having that same event happen we were able to help each other make sense of so much. It wasnt all talking about death though 🙂 we just totally connected on every level and we made arrangements that he would come down so we could meet properly as we got on so well. I then had my cancer diagnosis but we still thought we should meet. That was the weekend just gone for 4 days. From the moment he arrived there was not an ounce of awkwardness or thinking god this person is different from what Ive gotten to know on the phone, video calls etc etc., There was just a complete connection. When it was time for him to leave he said I have made up my mind whether you like it or not – I cannot stand the thought of me being miles away while you go through all of this cancer treatment and stuff so Im going back to either take a career break or leave my job. Obviously I was against that as Ive always been someone who says I dont need help or support I can do this on my own which is what Ive always done all through my life. I was told to shut up for once and just let someone in to help when i need it. It was actually quite funny as most people would like to say that to me just never do lol So the result of that is – he has indeed done just that and is taking a career break for 4 months and will be back here on the 27th September. This in no way diminishes anything about my marriage to Colin or his to his husband Deans. I know how silly this sounds but the circumanstances and connection are like fate. It’s almost if you believe in that sort of thing that both of us were guided to someone who could help the other through what for both of us has been a truly horrendous, sad and tragic year. We are both very aware now how fleeting life can be for everyone. You can either choose to stay away from the world and fade away in your private miseries – or if you can actually laugh again and smile again – you can choose that option too. I always say every single thing about my life on Facebook so looks like once again I’m continuing that tradition.
September 7th 2022 – Gareth
